Chakkarai’s homecoming

"Chakkarai varaar naalaikku"
And that was the one-liner that triggered so much action in my house you could have thought it was some Vijay-film punch dialogue.

Of course, chakkarai is a person and not the white sweet, crystalline substance present in sorghum, maple sap, etc. used extensively as an ingredient and flavoring of certain foods and as a fermenting agent in the manufacture of certain alcoholic beverages.

(A Spicy Visu-style Quote on Sugar: I have always wondered why people always say "chakkarai" for sugar and "sugar" for diabetes, and never say "sugar" to mean sugar itself! Nobody says "Rendu spoon sugar podunga" instead of "rendu spoon chakkarai podunga" but lot of people say "Enakku sugar vandhuduthu"!)

Chakkarai is one of my athimbers. He is baddhu athai's husband. Baddhu* athai and they (they don't have any children) keep moving from one weirdo place to another (he is photographer for some nature mag) and he (not 'they') visits us once in a while (where while =10 years or so). He last came for my chithi's marriage (though he was late by 5 days and by the time he came, my chitthi was on a honeymoon in Mambalam) and before that he had come for my mother's marriage (he skipped my maama's marriage).
He had called on Tuesday to say he was arriving the day after. And that's when it all started. (Paati picked up the phone)

"Hullo…."
"Yaaru pesardu"
"Paati, naan chakkarai pesaren"
"Dei cheenu… Subiksha lerndu chakkaraiyaam"
(Dad, in the background) "Naan order pannalayemma!!"
"Naanga order pannalappa."
And she slammed the phone right away. (Needless to say, she is quite very deaf)
************
"Hullo"
"Yaaruppa idhu?"
"Paati naan baddhu aathukaar chakkarai pesaren"
"Dei baddhu aathukaarkku sugar jaasthi aayiduthaam. Enaavo edho. Bayama irukku. Nee enna aachunnu kelen…"
(Dad) "Amma. Im late for office. Neeye kelu"
(Athimber, bugged by then): "Paati, Naan badhu aathukaar dhaan pesaren"
"Maapalai! Nanna irukela- Baddhu nanna irukaala- Unga velayellam nanna poyindirukka- eppo aathukku varel - ellarum sowkiyam dhaane- ippo enga irukkel - ……" (paati always dictates entire question papers in one breath)
"Naalnikku madras varom paati. Tomorrow Singapore. Day after mornin' to Chennai."
"Ippo enga irrukel?"
"I'm coming from Pulau Ha-zh-uku** Pah-ti… It's off Indo-ney-sia" (The moment you ask athimber where he is coming from, he would switch to peter-mode and dole out tonnes of American English. It's funny really, and a must-experience-at-least-once-in-your-lifetime thingy- maybe he forgets he works for US mags until u ask him, and the moment he remembers it, he decides to scene-potufy!)
"Ennadu? Pulao yaarukka? Enna maapalai solrel…"
"Its oh-kay pah-ti. I ll tel ya tomo-zh-ow. Bye"
***********


(The hustle shall continue….)

Note:

1. *baddhu is short form for padma, not any Madras Tamil bad word.
2. **zh pronounced as the zh in tamizh by rolling your tongue to pronounce the American style 'r', so that Pulau haruku sounds like pulao-hazhuku
3. I am not including translations, do leave a comment if you think it is better to include them.